Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Wherever you go, there you are.

Perhaps it's coming from a small town where everybody knows your business. (Ok, everybody is knee deep in your business.) I've learned through time and in living in the same city for 10 years now, that even a big city, becomes a small town. (If you live there long enough actually do shit.) That being said, for the longest time, I forgot about caring about being liked.

Now, as my kid is full swing in school (1st grade), and I've been in the same "town" for quite sometime, I find myself feeling insecure again.

E does 99.9% of Hudsons drop offs at school. As a result, when I do show up, I feel like an alien. The moms are chit chatting their school mom shit and I'm like "Hey, wow, it's hot today huh?" And then to make matters worse, the "room mom" who is at the epicenter of the moms, definitely does not like me or my kid. (Fact, just take my word for it.)

It's funny because aside from the few words we exchanged last year, she doesn't know me at ALL and I want to say "Hey, I have a story you know, I'd be here too (not 500 hrs a year because that just overboard and you need a life) but nonetheless, I HAVE to work."

But then why do I care?

I care because, I'm human.

So then, I go to pick up Hudson from the YMCA skate park after school and the instructor takes me aside to talk about, in his words, an "incident" that happened.

Basically, a kid bought Hudson some Skittles the other day and to "repay" him Hudson gave him some brand new Skate Deck (mini skateboard figures) and when the mom got word of this she was "confused" and "uncomfortable."

Basically I was told, no more gifts to kids. I walked away feeling 1. Like a complete pedophile and 2. Worried what the skate instructors and mom thought about me.

I could tell, Hudson was bummed on the whole situation and told me that we had to "tell dad the bad news." Yep, that's right Arterburns, no more gifts you CREEPS.
I'm not gonna lie, today spun me out a little. There were a million other story lines that ran through my head on what other people were thinking but I won't bore you with those. Lets just say, we are all hard on ourselves, and when you have kids, just multiply it by infinity.

So maybe I'm being sensitive to the fact that, I feel like I'm never 100% vested in anything I'm doing during the day and because being a working mom is fucking hard and we should really be nicer to each other.

Especially that bitch who clearly doesn't like me.....whoever she is.