Thursday, January 26, 2012

10 months and counting....

At The Arty Invitational (the golf tournament benefit that our friends put together for E) last June, I was setting up and a guy I had never seen before came up to me and introduced himself. "Hi, I'm Kevin and I had a horrible brain injury about a year and a half ago like your husband." We chatted for quite some time and was very comforting and inspiring all at the same time. I think I even told him (naively) that he should give talks about his journey and he said "I have."
Although he was very cognitively "with it" you could definitely tell, he had been through some major shit. Well, months later, I found out that "Kevin" was Kevin Pearce, a world champion and olympic hopeful snowboarder ( Indeed, he has been through some major shit.

So here we are, 10 months post traumatic brain injury and it has been....well....traumatic. Most days I wake up and don't think about it. I just go. Then there are days where I hover over my life and watch it like a Lifetime movie. Ridiculous, yet, you can't turn the channel.

But at the end of the day, we have the end of the day. E is doing mostly everything he was able to do before. Ie) drive, surf, work. However, it's at a much slowwwwwer pace at this point.

He is still on a plethora of medication which we are in the process of weaning, but it's going to probably be at least another year before he's completely off, if at all.

He still goes to multiple doctor appointments each week, has gained quite a bit of weight due to medication (and food) and basically has no memory of 2011.

That being said, things have been pretty good around here lately. Because E works from home, he is currently in training for job of "house manager" Aka Manny (man nanny.)

He does most of the dropping off and picking up of Hudson to and from school. So much that I actually dropped Hud off this morning and he felt obliged to tell me where his lunch box goes and who his teacher was. He's been going to the same pre-school for 2 years.....

E also takes Hudson to Karate a few days a week and is definitely not the only dad on duty there.

So, although things are far from back to "normal," we are adjusting. Continuously moving forward, trying not to look backward, all while living in the present. One day at a time, every day counting toward recovery. For E and for me.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012


Still more work and less play than I would like but that's what the hokey pokey is really all about. I've done a few small things in the last few days that have brought me much pleasure. Again, it's the little things folks.
(And if I were rich, diamonds and private yachts would be the "little" things and I would enjoy those as well.)

1. Went to the cobbler and had my heels replaced on my work shoes. I mean how many times am I gonna (almost) eat shit before I spend $8 to get the worn out heels fixed!

2. I cut Hudson's hair. Yes, I did it myself. I was inspired by a rockstar. We had lunch at our local Wahoos (fish tacos) eating hole and sitting next to us was Tom Delonge of Blink182 and his 5 year old son. Both equally punk rock. Nonetheless, I copied his sons hair cut (to the best of my ability) and I think it's pretty cute. Some may call it messy, Tom and I call it punk rock.

3. I bought myself a new book. (A book of essays which I will realistically finish) and coffee mug. Because they go hand in hand.

Tomorrow is E's 10 month mark! 10 months since his traumatic brain injury. Things are moving forward and I will give a formal update in the next day or 2.

(As for the formal housekeeping when E let's me know something is dirty, I tell him to tell the maid. When he says "we don't have a maid" I say, "exactly.")

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Mom tricks

I'm going to go out on a limb and say, this parenting tip, you probably will not find in the "manual." Luckily, there is no such thing. As my mom says "Everyone has the right to F#*% up their own children."

However, my kid has been obsessed with TV, movies, video games lately and I don't like it. I don't like it at all. We live in San Diego. It's nice here year round, there's always green grass, soft sand and salt water a few blocks away, all day, every day. If there is anyone who shouldn't OWN a television, it should be us. But as life goes, at the end of a long work day, sometimes I just don't feel like tearing every cushion off the couch and finding every pillow and blanket in the house to build a fort. Sometimes I really don't want to put together 25 glow sticks to make necklaces and dance around in the dark like a nineteen year old on Ecstasy. So I needed an alternate plan and I've found that even at four years old, he's more likely to buy into an idea if it's HIS idea.

I broke out an oldie but goodie and let the poem do the talking. A poem from Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein called "Jimmy Jet and his TV Set." It's about a boy who watched too much TV and eventually turned into a television set. See, at four years old, Hudson still can't fully separate real from imaginary and oddly enough, he has found some other activities to do on this particular evening. Mean or brilliant? I will sleep just fine tonight either way.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Black and Blue

I've been a woman of very few words and MUCH to do as of late. Plus, my mom and step-dad DJ were here to visit this past long weekend. Needless to say, many bottles of wine + 2 Minnesotans in warm weather equals 3 awesome nights, 4 awesome days and a mini vacation in February. (more on that later)

Tonight I am ordering a new car (courtesy of the company I work for.)
Nonetheless, many decisions had to be made and it came down to 2 exterior colors. I couldn't decide on my own and Eric wanted a color that wasn't an option. Therefore, Hudson and I hashed it out over a cup of hot chocolate and the "color meaning" guide below.

So basically, a 4 year old, a random color meaning guide off the Internet and my new years resolution to fuck strength, decided the color. Very rational, I know.
But come on, if your sexy, evil and probably drive a black car.
And yes, I am hoping by making a switch merely to the color of my car, it will bring good fortune, wisdom, good health and serenity. It's worth a shot, and changing my very black wardrobe to blue is not an option.

Blue :
good fortune, communication, wisdom, protection, spiritual inspiration, calmness, reassurance, gentleness, fluidity, water, sea, creativity, peace, calming, higher thoughts, mystery, sky, formality, travel, devotion, progress, quiet wisdom, freedom. betterment of humanity, love, trust, loyalty, intelligence, reassurance, artistry, compassion, inner strength, devotion, depression, sadness, tranquility, stability, unity, truth, understanding, confidence, acceptance, conservatism, security, cleanliness, order, comfort, cold, technology, devotion, harmony, depth, faith, heaven, piety, sincerity, precision, intellect, sadness, consciousness, speech, messages, ideas, sharing, cooperation, idealism, sincerity, empathy, relaxation, affection, inspiration, friendship, patience, contemplation, infinity, harmony, non-threatening, dependability
Dark blue : depth, expertise, stability, credibility (especially with gold), intellect, wisdom, corporate colour, warmth, knowledge, power, integrity, seriousness, knowledge, health, decisiveness, law, order, logic, dependability, serenity

Black :
protection, repelling negativity, binding, shapeshifting, power, sexuality, sophistication, formality, elegance, classy, wealth, power, mystery, fear, evil, anonymity, unhappiness, depth, style, evil, sadness, remorse, anger, underground, modern music, space, high quality, bad luck, formality, reservedness, dignity, elegance, secretiveness, fear of the unknown, night, emptiness, dirtiness, sophistication, strength of character, dramatic, authority, prestige, grief, anger, reliability, strong, classic, strength, anti-establishment, modernism, serious

(He is my color blue.)

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

What's up with shoe?

So far, 2012 has been extremely busy, depending on who you ask in our household. If you asked E, he would say "boring." If you asked Hudson, he would say "I'm a red, Lego, ninja, power ranger because I feel it in my heart."

With a life of busy-ness and craziness, all a result of brain injured-ness, I am still focused and holding true on my 2 New Years "items" which, will bring more happiness. (at least that's the idea.)

Today, I got rid of stuff and here is the story.

Today, I parted with of a pair of shoes I really love. However, the lady who works at the consignment shop loves them more. I know this because she tells me every single time I drop things off (which is a lot lately.) They were not that special but you can't get them anymore and they are not even on eBay. I know this because she told me. So, I wore the shoes one last time today and after work I stopped by the store and I told her I was ready to sell the shoes. She cried. Well, maybe "cried" is an exaggeration but her eyes welled up and so did mine. We hugged. Twice.
Maybe it was the shoes. Maybe its because we are women and women love shoes. Maybe because it was Wednesday. I don't know but it feels good to get rid of stuff, even stuff I still like.
(That chick had better give me fair consignment price.)

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Things that make you go WTF.

Often times, at night, I get lost in "blogland." I am not talking about my little blog about my brain injured husband and taking my kid to Disneyland. I'm talking about the REAL bloggers. The pros. The people who seemingly have all the time, creativity and money in the world to bedazzle their expensive shoes, try/buy 19 new red lipsticks, make perfect cappuccinos and have a lovely rack of lamb waiting for dinner. WTF (what the f@$!)
Trust me, the reasons listed above are exactly what attract me to those blogs. I get "lost" for a while, the same way that tv does for others. I also understand that there are ads and these blogger pros can make some cash that way. But seriously, how does one pay a mortgage, wear Louboutin shoes, make a perfect lemon meringue and afford the time to re-arrange their house every other day.... at the same time....without needing a "job?"
I love a good DIY project and new recipe like the rest of you but WTF?

Most of these cute little bloggers have an "about me" section, but none of them say "I love pottery, long walks on the beach and I am married to a rich guy who supports me."

However, as a reformed "strong" woman, I'd like to believe that it is not the above so I will assume they are trust fund babies or they rob banks at night. Just in order to keep my own sanity and not feel like such a failure when, from time to time, my dinner consists of chicken nugget sandwiches, my house has been rearranged by a 4 year old, and my husband has planted the succulent garden.