Friday, September 30, 2011

A few things I know for sure.

A few things I know for sure....

I know for sure, my kid is a natural "hoarder."
From Matchbox cars, to glow sticks, to leaves on an afternoon jog when I just want to run and not stop and pick up every god damned leaf that happens to be on the sidewalk but then I remember how cool it is as a kid to watch in amazement at how the leaves change colors right before our eyes and if I would stop and think about it as an adult I just might feel the same way.......(deep breath.) And I do.




Spider man face paint, again. I realized this as I picked him up and we went to get our usual Friday after school treat and did our usual Friday after school grocery shopping. I know for sure, my kid is a creature of habit.
(I'm not sure where he gets it.)




I had a moment today. I haven't lived in Minnesota for 10 years and today was one of those moments where, you'd never know. I roamed the grocery store (which I'm fairly familiar with) and I finally had to ask, very annoyed, where the pineapple was hiding. The man kindly pointed to the large table full of fresh pineapple, directly behind him. "You mean that?"
Oh, yeah. I was looking for the canned stuff but this will do.
(I say this only because fresh pineapple is pretty hard to come by in October in MN. The thought of "fresh" didn't even cross my mind.)

Hudson and I proceeded to cut that baby up and ate like it was going out of (style) season. I know for sure, I'm still a Minnesotan at heart and that it's going to be a good Friday night.




As for the hubs. We are getting to a point where I can tell him stories about when he was 'his evil twin in the hospital' and he can comprehend it, sort of envision it, and sometimes even laugh about it. I shared with him today the "succulent story." Basically, when he was moved to in-patient rehab and I tried to make his room more comfy, I potted this succulent plant and brought it in to him. It's no secret that I'm NOT a green thumb. E looked at it and immediately told me it "sucked." Yep, he said my succulent sucked.

Well guess who is still living and in our bedroom?
And after today, E finally knows where it came from.
I know for sure, my husband is getting better, and I will NEVER pot him a succulent again.




And finally.....
I know for sure, that although he can be annoying as hell, after a good run and a hearty meal, my dog can be the cutest thing ever.
(Even if he is on my pillow and seeing that totally sends me into a cleanliness tailspin.)




Happy Friday.



Tuesday, September 27, 2011

It's beginning to look a lot like..

Tonight was Hudson's night to choose the dinner menu.
So....cheese quesadillas and chocolate chip cookies it is. I did make some Carne Asada on the side for E, although I do think it should be a rule that you have to stick to the menu plan.

E is a full on "driver" and it's fantastic. It's like having a newly licensed 16 year old in the house.

Me: Oh shit, I'm about to make Carne Asada and I forgot the Carne (meat)
E: I'll go get it!
Me: Awesome. I need a bottle of Cabernet to cook with as well. Could you throw in a few?

So after going through (in this order) Anxiety, fear and heart palpitations....I now feel sweet relief. E being able to drive is physical proof he's getting better. (Although I have yet to get in the car with him)

Hudson and I did a Target run tonight for the usual....Toilet paper, glow sticks, holiday pjs and hot sauce. Hey, it's Super Target.

I believe I've created a holiday "monster" like myself and I had to make the adult decision to NOT buy Christmas pajamas. However, because he's been wearing the shit out of his costume, I figured a little Halloween pj action would be appropriate.

Although things seem to be stabilizing a bit from within, there is a lot of "stuff" happening outside (ie. Whats happening to the dude that has a big fist and tiny balls who caused E's traumatic brain injury) and I will be discussing at my own pace. Because this is my blog and I do what I want.



Like i said....Glow sticks and Halloween pajamas.




Beetlejuice?




A raccoon named Henri in my kitchen.




Family Scrabble. Sounds so cheesy but it's great for brain injuries and wives of brain injured guys who cook with Cabernet. Hudson is the official "letter getter" and I don't know about you, but I read "asshole way." Just a thought.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Words of wisdom.

It is always nice to end the weekend with a few words of wisdom and simplicity.






If your not inspired or smiling, something is wrong.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

6 months and Life to Go.

Today marks 6 months since E's TBI (traumatic brain injury.) What a week. What a half a year.

E is driving again. He will be starting work (very) part time and going to brain camp the other part of his time. Lots of appointments, work, brain camp and school.
Lots of change.

What have I learned in the last 6 months? Plan on change. And I was reminded of that unmistakably today.

I figured today would be a good day to play tourists and take in some local San Diego culture. This idea was spawn early this morning when I woke up at 6:30 am in order to get ready, get myself a pumpkin spice latte and make it to downtown San Diego by 8 am to attend a convention for work. Only to arrive and realize I was early. 2 weeks early. Yes, it's a proven fact, brain injuries are contagious. So, I came home, round up the boys (someone stayed out a bit too late last night) and drove downtown, again.

I had two specific intentions. 1. Go to the children's museum 2. Go to our favorite Australian restaurant, Bondi (for a beer, burger and sweet potato fries.)

Well.....the museum is closed for the month of September getting ready for a new exhibition and Bondi has been replaced by Donovan's Steak house. What a difference 6 months makes.

So.... we ate at Maryjanes Diner at the Hard Rock hotel for the beer, burger and fries (no sweet potato. Boo.) We went to the Balboa Park Train Museum for our culture and Hudson's "adventure" for the day. Not too shabby!

After going through the last 6 months, it takes a lot more than a few alterations in "the plan" to rock my boat. Although, I try to anticipate everything, I know that "the plan" is much bigger than my daybook can handle.

So, like the last 6 months, I will take the next 6 months, one day at a time.
And I will continue to PLAN on CHANGE.




E's last "full time" day at brain camp. Cooking with "Sam the Cooking Guy." A local celeb chef.




Buffalo chicken pizza. Yum!
P.s. I had Sam sign my Sam the Cooking Guy cookbook "I love you Mandy"
I have no shame.




E, super stoked that I'm taking his picture right now.




Me and Hud, super.




6 months and life to go.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

On the road again......

Well let let's see, what happened today....
We woke up, had breakfast, Roomba cleaned our floors, and E got the ok to drive again!

We had our bigtime brain camp meeting today. E had two specific goals and was able to accomplish both within the last two months. 1. Drive 2. Work.

He will now be going to brain camp two days a week and will be working three. The great part about having both is, as issues come up at work (and they assured us they will) E can work it out at brain camp instead of having to deal with it on his own. Thank you brain camp!

Have I mentioned the nicknames E and his snarky friends have given me?
Mandatory, deMandying, ComMandying, Mandypants. You get the idea.
Needless to say, taking control of a situation comes naturally. However, I couldn't me more excited to give up the title of "family chauffeur." My life in the past six months has been like being a single mom of a special needs child with a dead beat dad.

Tomorrow, we celebrate E's last "full time" day at brain camp with Sam the Cooking Guy (a local celeb chef.) I've invited myself to the festivities and couldn't be more excited.







In the words of his (multiple) good friends, Oh boy......







He may have a brain injury but he's definitely not stupid.







Little tiger after school.







Celebratory meal. Yes, on a paper plate. Our dishwasher is broken.







Sweet potato mashed potatoes. Little. Orange. Different.







Hmm. Not sure who this is...







Oh, it's Henri. The begging dog.



Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Our new addition.

First of all....Happy Birthday Grandma Stroh!
I will forever remember going to the farm house in MN and stealing your endless supply of Spearmint Trident gum, Your crazy pinches in church when Mike and I were misbehaving, and watching Grandpa Stroh laugh so hard he cried while watching Tom and Jerry (the animated cartoon.)

Hudson LOVES Tom and Jerry and I think it's Grandpa Stroh saying hello every time Hudson giggles at Jerry hitting Tom over the head with a pan.....again.

So, our new addition.....
His name is Roomba. He cleans, doesn't talk back, and I don't have to potty train him. That's right, it's the round vacuum that cleans your floors while you're at work. It's a beautiful thing. He wasn't cheap but he IS cheaper than a housekeeper and/or a sibling for Hudson and for now, he does the work of both. Justified.

Oh and just when I think I don't need Costco in my life anymore, I go there and it totally redeems itself with Roombas, incessant supplies of fairly healthy kids snacks and Costco sized tubs of Tapioca pudding.









Monday, September 19, 2011

My so called Life

My life these days consists of a shit show of appointments, work, running a household and more appointments.

Granted, E is becoming more of helper as more time goes on, we are a long way from "back." I say this because brain injuries can be deceiving, even to me, someone who lives with one, who lives with one. However, when things around here naturally get moving at lightning speed, I am continually struck by it, and and it says "Hey lady, slow down, slow your ass down."

Tonight we had "family photos." (That sounds so lame every time I say it.) Anyway, we hiked it back into a really cool woodsy area deep in the heart of our "little" beach town. We had a few things in a bag- you know... treats, juice boxes, my cell phone. Someone (E) "forgot" to put it back into the car so I drove back to retrieve it, peeved, only to come home to find the dog had gotten out and was causing a ruckus in the neighborhood and my kid chowing down on "Lucky Charms" (the marshmallows only) for dinner. My husband somehow unknowing of all of this. So there is your example in case you wanted one.

At any rate things are moving along. Sometimes backwards, sometimes sideways, and most of the time, forwards.

Oh, did I mention my perfect son was dishing out major attitude this weekend, using my own one-liners, on me.
Things like:
"stop, you're being rude"
"give me some space"
"I'm over it"
"what the hell is wrong with you"

Tonight, I pray for patience. And a secret wine fairy.

Things we did this weekend. (In order)




Went to an adorable beach and backyard wedding. Although it's normal around here, it's still pretty awkward wearing a dress to the beach....and mine happened to be black....and the the exact same as another wedding guest. Awesome.



Hudson pre-wedding. Sand crab digging...in jeans.




Guess what came in the mail....and we wore to the grocery store...and the pharmacy, and.....



Set my table for "Fall." Peace put summer. Hello new Missoni (for Target) bowls and votives.



Went the park, in our pajamas....again. Sort of a Sunday morning tradition at this point.



Hudson, gearing up for pictures.....in the dirt.




The boys.




Me. Smiling. Not knowing what's about to hit me.



Thursday, September 15, 2011

Don't stop believing (in the voice of Journey)

Wow. What a week. I'm the type of person who gets more done when there is a lot to do. When there is little to do, I...do...nothing. This week, there was much to do. However, Dave and Dodie were in town until this morning and helped A TON. I mean, Dodie cooks, Dave cleans, and the boys get suckers when they are picked up from brain camp/school (and I'm not the one picking them up.) Whats not to like?

Where do I begin. MANY changes coming our way. This is all a bit pre-mature to announce but I've never been very good at keeping my mouth shut when I should so here we go.

E and I have an "All staff" brain camp meeting next Thursday to go over the brain camp action plan. I will tell you, its announcing the date of Eric's discharge. I don't know when, but it will soon be on the calendar. They will give him a "part time work" permit. In addition, they are going to let the man drive. Yes, that's right. E will be on a road near you, very soon. When stating my concern about this to one of the doctors that I work with, he said, well, he can't be any worse than my 16 year old son, who is now on the road. Wow. Good point. Eric is extra cautious these days and has the life experience that 16 year olds definitely do not have.

All of this good news opened up a whole new ball of mommy wax (whack) for me. My husband is slowly but surely getting his wings back. The time is coming where I will no longer be able to talk about him behind his back to his 1,000 closest friends. I need to let go of the fact that he won't need me as much. A complete blessing? Absolutely. An adjustment? Yes. But a good adjustment.

I am so stoked to be getting my "husband" back but it's going to take practice to allowing him to spread his wings again without worrying my ass off that it will all go awry. I guess it's like watching your 16 year old drive off in their car for the first time or like sending your first born off to college. You are both ready for it but nervous nonetheless.

Finally, I must confess, I opened a bottle of wine tonight as well. I can only speak for myself but wine makes me a better person. Period.




Don't stop believing (in the voice of Journey)

Wow. What a week. I'm the type of person who gets more done when there is a lot to do. When there is little to do, I...do...nothing. This week, there was much to do. However, Dave and Dodie were in town until this morning and helped A TON. I mean, Dodie cooks, Dave cleans, and the boys get suckers when they are picked up from brain camp/school (and I'm not the one picking them up.) Whats not to like?

Where do I begin. MANY changes coming our way. This is all a bit pre-mature to announce but I've never been very good at keeping my mouth shut when I should so here we go.

E and I have an "All staff" brain camp meeting next Thursday to go over the brain camp action plan. I will tell you, its announcing the date of Eric's discharge. I don't know when, but it will soon be on the calendar. They will give him a "part time work" permit. In addition, they are going to let the man drive. Yes, that's right. E will be on a road near you, very soon. When stating my concern about this to one of the doctors that I work with, he said, well, he can't be any worse than my 16 year old son, who is now on the road. Wow. Good point. Eric is extra cautious these days and has the life experience that 16 year olds definitely do not have.

All of this good news opened up a whole new ball of mommy wax (whack) for me. My husband is slowly but surely getting his wings back. The time is coming where I will no longer be able to talk about him behind his back to his 1,000 closest friends. I need to let go of the fact that he won't need me as much. A complete blessing? Absolutely. An adjustment? Yes. But a good adjustment.

I am so stoked to be getting my "husband" back but it's going to take practice to allowing him to spread his wings again without worrying my ass off that it will all go awry. I guess it's like watching your 16 year old drive off in their car for the first time or like sending your first born off to college. Your're both ready for it but nervous nonetheless.

Finally, I must confess, I opened a bottle of wine tonight as well. I can only speak for myself but wine makes me a better person. Period.




Sunday, September 11, 2011

Weekend Warriors

Things we did this weekend.....



Went to Trader Joes. (along with everyone else is SD)




Hung out with my god-daughter, Siena, whom I love like my own.



Went to the Howard-Fernandez wedding. Lovely.



My lady friends. Xo



Photo booth.



Hudson's BFF Ford.
WWF on the trampoline = front tooth on the trampoline

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Blackout

Well pandemonium hit SD late this afternoon when 1.4 million people lost their power (and lost their shit.) I'm not gonna lie, it's a bit scary coming to a 6 way stop with turn lanes and trying to figure out who's turn it is next. I just gunned it closed my eyes and got my ass on the freeway. The 5 actually became quite safe as it quickly turned into a parking lot considering everyone and their mother tried to get home.

At any rate, we ended up having a pretty good night. I told Hudson that we were having a pretend Halloween party and would not be using lights tonight. Only lanterns and candles. He told me that was "the best idea ever" so for now, I'll take the credit.

We made tacos on the grill. We cooked the meat on a pan, heated the tortillas on the upper grill, cut up the veggies and voila! I must say, it was the best meal that I've had during a blackout, at least that I can remember. We didn't get to watch the football game as planned but it was kind of refreshing not having a tv. I think I'm going to enforce 1 night a week, no tv. Maybe even no electricity like tonight, just for the full experience. It's was kind of like camping. Except we had running water and a bed. Awesome.




More preschool shenanigans today. Um, Hudson, you have something on your face..."what mom?" Perhaps his teacher did it while he was sleeping during nap time?




"Camping out" in Hudson's room. (post candle light bath)

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Happy wife, happy life.

Ok, so, I just need to clear the air about something. It seems as I've been ranting a lot lately which is not in my nature but I'm trying a new "catch and release" technique as issues come up. I'm trying to address things as they arrive and then immediately let go of them instead of hanging on to resentment. (Something my therapist highly recommended to me.) So basically, if you pissed me off in 3rd grade or before, you're all good. I'm over it. If it was after 3rd grade, you're probably still in the shit house but bear with me, I'm working on it. Anyways, here it goes.

Dear E's friends,
If you are going to hang out with E, please do not drink beer with and/or take him to a bar with you to drink beer. Let us not forget that although he seems fine, he is only 5 months out from a traumatic brain injury. He's not always capable of making good decisions for himself. That would be where you, the Non-brain-injured friend would come in. It's not hard, just don't give to E something that you would not give your toddler. This may mean the time spent with E you are not doing/partaking in things that might tempt him. For example, you would not sit down with a child and eat a plate of cookies in front of them, only expecting the child to eat 1. The same goes for brain injured dudes. I am not condemning nor am I judging as this is all a new experience for most of us. Trust me, I'm probably extra pissed off lately because I've had to give up my nightly glass of wine. (When my therapist asked if I have been drinking too much I said "No, I haven't been drinking at all and I think that's part of the problem." He tried not to, but he laughed.)

Bottom line, do what is right by your friend. If he tells you that you suck, don't take it personally. I can assure you, he'll forget about it tomorrow. Another admirable E quality: he doesn't hold a grudge.
If you're not up for it, call me and I'll be the bitch. I'm pretty used to that by now.
Are we cool?

Ok, now that THATS out of the way....

What the hell am I going to make for dinner?

Henri the dog has been itching like a mo fo lately so I took him to the vet today. After 1 cortisone shot, a week supply of prednisolone, special shampoo, flea medication, and an antibiotic ($187 later), I think he's finally feeling better. Hopefully, he won't be rubbing his ass on every piece of furniture tonight while I'm trying to sleep. For the love of dog!





Oh, and Hud wants to be a "Red Power Ranger" for Halloween.



Tuesday, September 6, 2011

First day of pre-school....again

Well today was Hudson first "official" day back to preschool. Second year. (And I don't really have anything nice to say about the high maintenance, sneaky, sometimes rude, most of the time complaining, brain injured guy, so I will dedicate this day to Hudson.) So basically, we were pros and watched all the newbie parents taking pictures of their kids on the painted up, old VW bus that the preschool converted into a jungle gym. (pretty much what sold me on the place.) We on the other hand just rolled up dropped off our contribution of glue, markers, hand sanitizer and Dora the Explorer bandaids and were on our way.

Hudson didn't even look back. Old blood (to bro out with) mixed with a little new blood (to show off and possibly make friends with) a perfect combo for a happy toddler (mine anyway.) This makes me think, maybe he WILL be ready for kindergarten next year. A very controversial subject around moms. I chose not to partake in most of it, but having an August birthday makes it impossible to avoid.

On one hand I think, LOVES his preschool and so do we. He has his whole life to go to "real" school. On the other hand, I think, he can handle it, even if he's young and a bit behind at first, he will eventually catch up, they all sort of even out......right?

Then I think, he's a boy. I don't want him to be the last kid in his class to get pubes and a deep voice. If he comes out of high school with a low self esteem because he didn't get chicks and was the dumbest kid in his class who bench warmed his way through sports, I'm pretty sure, I'd HAVE to wear some of that responsibility. Like it or not.

Oh, but then, there is the big elephant in the room that no body wants to talk about. Like saving $12,000 a year on preschool? But I'm sure all of these people really choose to send their kids because they are "talented" and "ready." Bullshit, you want to buy yourself a big screen TV and a trip to Tahiti, (or just get by comfortably.) Just like the rest of us.

Well, Hudson, enjoy your last year of preschool because next year, you might just be entering the real world of kindergarten but don't worry, we'll take you somewhere very special on spring break and I personally, am looking forward to it.







Hudson's 1st day last year.





Hudson's 1st day this year.







E and I left behind.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Crabby Pumpkin

The weekend was a success. We used every last hour that's for sure.
Out for sushi with Uncle brother Matt and his friend, we went to the horse track, ate snow cones and bet (and lost), breakfast, beach, BBQ at our house (20 friends later but fun), 6 mile run with Henri this morning (I almost had to carry his puggle ass home), laundry, 1st rain outside in months, prep for Huds first day back to preschool, 1st pumpkin spice latte of the season, and Anthony Bourdain while the boys nap.

The weekend was not short of a few brain injury moments but we got through it. (Like asking E to come home at 9:30 last night because he snuck upstairs, introduced himself to the guests staying in our rental and then proceeded to help himself to a glass (or two) of wine.) Yep, just a day in the life folks.

I want to be happy and refreshed, ready to start my week but frankly I'm a bit cranky and snappy and just want to.......sneak upstairs and introduce myself to the guests and their opened bottle of wine and finish it off.



Sushi?


Uncle Matt and Hudson


Snow cone


PSL