Sunday words of wisdom (taken from Pinterest)

What I'm doing....




What I'm hoping for.....





What I know...

A Letter.

I didn't mean to evoke such a large response by my post yesterday. But I wear my heart on my sleeve and if you are really in this journey with us, you gotta take the bad with the good. Not every day is sugar plums and fairies. Most days, I'm able to see the bright side but there are days like yesterday that completely devastate me, in that moment (or 4.5 hours.)

Today was a better day and that's all I can ask for. I take it one day at a time and hope for miracles in the meantime.

I thought I would share a letter I wrote today. It also explains a little bit.


Dear Officer Schmoll,
You are a good man. We first met in the ER on March 24, 2011. You followed the ambulance that my husband was in. You stayed with me much longer than you had to. You were kind and comforting. You ever so gently let me know, that the sweatshirt I had brought for E, was probably not going home with him that night. We had an instant bond as soon as I heard you say "about" and it sounded like "a boat."

"Where are you from?" I asked.

"Minnesota."

It sounds weird but I knew then that E would be ok. You were a sign from something/someone much larger than myself saying it's going to be ok. Plus you were a cop (like my dad and grandpa) and bald (also like my dad and grandpa.) For the record, I like bald guys and cops.

Then yesterday came along. My brain injured husband had been "missing" for 4.5 hours. He had not returned back to brain camp and no one (except for 1 person, we found out later) had seen or heard from him. No wallet. No phone. I was worried sick (hysterical.)

It was you, officer Schmoll who came to my front door to see if I was ok. (after the local sheriff department was notified.)

You made me laugh, as you laughed your ass off when my non threatening puggle barked and practically scared the gun belt off of your tall, skinny, dorky looking understudy. (Don't tell him I said that.)

Thank you.
Is it reassuring to know we have a local guardian angel, who happens to be a cop?
U'betcha.

-Mandy from Minnesota



(Officer Schmoll. Yesterday. In our driveway.)





(no caption needed other than I made him do it.)




(yes, I put ice cubes in red wine like an 80 year old crazy lady.)




(chocolate shake to celebrate a great visit at the dentist.)

Today was a really bad day

Today was a really, really, really, really, really bad day.
I have officially, MENTALLY, mourned the death of my husband twice.
Thats 2x in the last 6 months.

To our REAL friends: Thank you.
To our pretend friends: Fuck you.

Everything is fine. Now. Thanks for following.

Oh I love a rainy night.

I love a rainy night. (Eddie Rabbitt)

Showers washed
All my cares away
I wake up to a sunny day
'Cos I love a rainy night
Yeah, I love a rainy night
Well, I love a rainy night
I love a rainy night
Well, I love a rainy night
You can see it in my eyes
Yeah, I love a rainy night
Well, it makes me high
Ooh, I love a rainy night
You know I do, yeah, yeah
I love a rainy night
I love a rainy night

Short, middle aged and broke

I hate getting catalogs in the mail, loving all of their stuff (Free People) and then realizing I am not 5'10," 99 lbs, 17 years old and rich. In fact, when I think about it, if I were to "categorize" myself, I am short, middle aged and broke. Bummer.

At least I have a job, access to Botox and platform shoes and my family....of course. But sometimes, a girl just needs a new outfit. Period. No reason. Not about anyone else. Just a new pair shoes folks.
Age appropriate, schmage appropriate.

Hudson and I went to the Container Store tonight to get ourselves "organized." This is fun stuff for us, seriously.

E sent me a link today. He wants to buy a Vespa. This is so wrong and not going to happen, on so many levels. Need I explain more?

Paris in the
the Spring.


Did you read
Paris in the Spring?
Or
Paris in the THE Spring.


I read the first. It shows you how our minds make automatic assumptions if we are not paying attention. It happens to me ALL the time. Especially in the past 6 months. I am making more of an effort to be aware of what is and less aware of what was and what might be.

So. Right now, I'm aware, that I want to play dress up.
Even if I am short, middle aged, broke and don't go anywhere that I can wear a fur and a sequined mini dress, in the same night.

Oktoberfest, Space and yoga

Things we did (are doing) this weekend.....

Happy October! The best Ocktoberfest beer made.
It just so happens, I worked for this local micro-brewery (Karl Strauss Brewing Company) in sales for 4 years so I may be a little partial.













Hudson's BFF from school had a birthday party. This was no run-of-the-mill, pin-the-tail on the donkey party. It was a "Spaceship/Astronaut" themed party. Complete with space helmets, NASA shirts and name badges, and of course a space pack for launch.































Yoga Sunday. Hudson does Yoga at pre-school and these are his favorite moves, complete with his description. (Similar to the dad who played football for years and sees his son pick up a football for the first time, I'm pretty proud. :))














"Downward dog"








"Table"








"Waterfall"








"Butterfly"








"Downward cat"











Although it's still sunny and 70 here in San Diego. It's Sunday, It's Fall, and I feel like crock-potting and comfort food damn it.
So "Thanksgiving in a Pot" it is.

A few things I know for sure.

A few things I know for sure....

I know for sure, my kid is a natural "hoarder."
From Matchbox cars, to glow sticks, to leaves on an afternoon jog when I just want to run and not stop and pick up every god damned leaf that happens to be on the sidewalk but then I remember how cool it is as a kid to watch in amazement at how the leaves change colors right before our eyes and if I would stop and think about it as an adult I just might feel the same way.......(deep breath.) And I do.




Spider man face paint, again. I realized this as I picked him up and we went to get our usual Friday after school treat and did our usual Friday after school grocery shopping. I know for sure, my kid is a creature of habit.
(I'm not sure where he gets it.)




I had a moment today. I haven't lived in Minnesota for 10 years and today was one of those moments where, you'd never know. I roamed the grocery store (which I'm fairly familiar with) and I finally had to ask, very annoyed, where the pineapple was hiding. The man kindly pointed to the large table full of fresh pineapple, directly behind him. "You mean that?"
Oh, yeah. I was looking for the canned stuff but this will do.
(I say this only because fresh pineapple is pretty hard to come by in October in MN. The thought of "fresh" didn't even cross my mind.)

Hudson and I proceeded to cut that baby up and ate like it was going out of (style) season. I know for sure, I'm still a Minnesotan at heart and that it's going to be a good Friday night.




As for the hubs. We are getting to a point where I can tell him stories about when he was 'his evil twin in the hospital' and he can comprehend it, sort of envision it, and sometimes even laugh about it. I shared with him today the "succulent story." Basically, when he was moved to in-patient rehab and I tried to make his room more comfy, I potted this succulent plant and brought it in to him. It's no secret that I'm NOT a green thumb. E looked at it and immediately told me it "sucked." Yep, he said my succulent sucked.

Well guess who is still living and in our bedroom?
And after today, E finally knows where it came from.
I know for sure, my husband is getting better, and I will NEVER pot him a succulent again.




And finally.....
I know for sure, that although he can be annoying as hell, after a good run and a hearty meal, my dog can be the cutest thing ever.
(Even if he is on my pillow and seeing that totally sends me into a cleanliness tailspin.)




Happy Friday.